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A light that seeps into my heart, an unspoken memory
Category
- Meditation
Author
Forgotten pain is sometimes awakened by a single word from an indifferent person.
That day was no different. Someone's rude words struck me. I felt bad at the time, but I didn't suppress my feelings. Instead, I decided to just watch.
That day was no different. Someone's rude words struck me. I felt bad at the time, but I didn't suppress my feelings. Instead, I decided to just watch.
I looked at that unpleasant feeling.
He didn't criticize, he didn't run away, he just stayed.
Then, the feeling began to change shape.
A breath of compassion rose from somewhere in my chest.
He didn't criticize, he didn't run away, he just stayed.
Then, the feeling began to change shape.
A breath of compassion rose from somewhere in my chest.
That person may have been in their own pain too.
As I thought about that, the faces of the kind people around me came to mind one by one.
People who smiled at me as I walked down the street, hands that extended small kindnesses.
There were gentle reminders in this city that I still deserved to be loved.
As I thought about that, the faces of the kind people around me came to mind one by one.
People who smiled at me as I walked down the street, hands that extended small kindnesses.
There were gentle reminders in this city that I still deserved to be loved.
Then my heart warmed. Very slowly, but surely.
A light came down from somewhere.
The light seemed to come down from the sky, but at the same time it seemed to bloom within me.
The light that had seeped into my heart spread wider than usual.
It was a familiar yet new feeling, as if a long-closed door had opened a little more.
A light came down from somewhere.
The light seemed to come down from the sky, but at the same time it seemed to bloom within me.
The light that had seeped into my heart spread wider than usual.
It was a familiar yet new feeling, as if a long-closed door had opened a little more.
And then tears came.
Tears of gratitude.
Tears of gratitude.
I met the body in those tears.
My unconscious, the body that feels emotions and lives in the world with its whole body.
I spoke cautiously.
My unconscious, the body that feels emotions and lives in the world with its whole body.
I spoke cautiously.
“What is a really difficult memory?”
“Are you still afraid of the world?”
“Are you still afraid of the world?”
There was no answer. But the silence wasn't just silence.
The body seemed to want to say something. Hesitantly, but without avoiding it.
Like a diver about to open his mouth in deep water, he was catching his breath and preparing.
The body seemed to want to say something. Hesitantly, but without avoiding it.
Like a diver about to open his mouth in deep water, he was catching his breath and preparing.
At that moment, I knew.
The complex problems I face in my daily life now actually stem from an old incident.
A moment that I don't remember, but that clearly existed.
The complex problems I face in my daily life now actually stem from an old incident.
A moment that I don't remember, but that clearly existed.
My heart ached.
The pain was like a disembodied ghost, but it clearly revealed its presence.
But I didn't run away anymore.
The pain was like a disembodied ghost, but it clearly revealed its presence.
But I didn't run away anymore.
The pain was no longer a monster.
Now I am someone who can reach out.
Now I am someone who can reach out.
At that moment, the space inside me changed.
Something moved, and a very old fear quietly melted away.
The body remained silent, but its silence was no longer a rejection.
That was trust.
It was a quiet confession that signaled that he was now ready to speak.
Something moved, and a very old fear quietly melted away.
The body remained silent, but its silence was no longer a rejection.
That was trust.
It was a quiet confession that signaled that he was now ready to speak.
I rested in that light.
My heart felt warm again, and my breathing became softer.
My heart felt warm again, and my breathing became softer.
The pain of the past that I cannot remember,
With the realization that I no longer have to run away
It touched my heart.
With the realization that I no longer have to run away
It touched my heart.
This was my little healing,
It was a quiet promise with the main body.
It was a quiet promise with the main body.
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