Subscribe
Lack of parental approval and unresolved resentment
Category
- Trauma
- Trial
- Family
- EFT
Author
- Lumen
Hello, I'm a woman in my mid-thirties. Since childhood, I can barely recall hearing words of recognition like "Well done" or "Thank you" from my parents. Even when I got good grades or landed a good job, they just took it for granted. All I ever heard was, "You have to do better," and "You can't fall behind others."
Perhaps because of these memories, deep down inside, I harbor an unresolved resentment toward my parents. Whenever I recall moments when I tried my best but never received a single compliment, I feel a pang of frustration and anger welling up in my chest. Lately, these feelings seem to be manifesting physically. My chest feels tight, making it difficult to breathe, and I often sigh in frustration.
I don't know how to resolve this frustration and resentment. I pretend to be fine on the outside, but inside, I feel like I'm constantly falling apart. Please tell me how to resolve these long-standing issues.
We hope that you will experience real change by following the EFT manual presented below.
EFT Personalized Manual: Lack of Parental Approval and Unresolved Resentment
Step 1: Identify the Problem (MPI - Most Urgent Problem)
You mentioned three issues: "lack of parental approval," "resentment," and "heartache." EFT is most effective when you begin with the issue you feel most strongly. Let's first focus on "heartache," the physical symptom you're currently most acutely experiencing. When emotional issues manifest as physical pain, simply focusing on the physical symptoms can help resolve the root cause of the emotion.
Step 2: Measure the intensity of emotions (SUDs)
Rate on a scale of 0 to 10 how intense the tightness in your chest you feel right now is.
0: No feeling
10: Extremely stuffy, to the point where you can't stand it any longer
Set this score in your mind and see how it changes after each round of EFT.
Step 3: Create a Setup Statement
EFT's core affirmations consist of acknowledging the reality of the problem and fully accepting yourself. This serves to correct "psychological reversals" that prevent EFT from working.
Affirmations for 'suffocating chest':
"Although I feel suffocated by memories of not being accepted by my parents, I deeply and completely accept myself."
Affirmation of 'Resentment':
"Although I harbor unresolved resentment toward my parents, I love and forgive myself completely."
Affirmation for 'when two emotions are mixed':
"Although I feel heavy-hearted and resentful toward my parents, I deeply and completely accept myself."
Please choose the sentence above that resonates with you the most and use it.
Step 4: EFT Tapping Method
Preparation: While gently tapping the Karate Chop Point of one hand with the other, say your chosen affirmation out loud three times. It's important to be honest about your feelings.
Tapping Round: Gently tap the following tapping points in order 7 to 10 times. While tapping, repeat a "reminder phrase" to remind yourself of the core issue.
The phrase above: "a stuffy chest" or "this resentment"
Tapping Points:
Eyebrow: "A stuffy chest"
Side of the Eye: "A stuffy chest"
Under Eyes: "Squeezed Chest"
Under the Nose: "Squeezed Chest"
Chin: "A stuffy chest"
Collarbone: "A stuffy chest"
Under Arm: "Squeezed Chest"
Top of Head: "A stuffy chest"
Finish: After one round, take a deep breath and re-evaluate your score (SUDs) to see how much your chest tightness has decreased. If your score hasn't decreased significantly, modify the phrase to something like "This tightness still remains" and proceed to the next round.
Step 5: Install Positive Affirmations (Choices Technique)
Once the negative emotions have been somewhat resolved and the score has dropped below 2, you can program new emotions through positive affirmations.
Positive affirmations for "unacknowledged memories":
"Even though I didn't get my parents' approval, I choose to love and respect myself."
Positive affirmations for 'resentment':
"Although I used to resent my parents, I now choose peace of mind."
By repeatedly tapping while saying these positive affirmations, your brain learns a new emotional state. EFT doesn't erase the memory itself, but rather releases the negative emotional energy tied to it, allowing you to experience a new perspective and positive emotions.
If you practice this process consistently, the old emotions that have been building up inside you will gradually disappear, and feelings of peace and self-respect will fill their place.
