When your heart aches, light seeps in.

Category

Meditation

Created by

Lumen

In the stillness of the morning, I closed my eyes. The world was still asleep, and only I was awake. As my breathing slowly subsided, I began to sink into myself. Something in my chest vibrated subtly. It was a thin thread of compassion, and I followed its end.

I thought of that person. The person who spoke and acted so carelessly toward me. His words and gaze were sharp, and every time, I felt a stab of pain, as if a corner of my heart had been cut open. But this morning, as I thought of him, I felt a strange calm. It wasn't anger, nor sadness. It was compassion. A very deep and quiet compassion.

Why was he so rough? Was his heart sick? Or was he, even, a living being, wounded by someone? I tried to peer into his inner self. Then a thought occurred to me. The imperfect human body. Sick, weakened, and ultimately rotting. His body would be no different. A fate no one can escape. That pitiful image suddenly welled up from deep within my heart.

That image sank my heart. Compassion blossomed quietly, and it wasn't just for him. It spread to myself, to all imperfect beings in the world. As I stilled my mind, a light began to descend from my imagination. A clear, warm light. From afar, quietly, slowly, it passed through my head and seeped into my heart.

At that moment, my chest felt a little tight. I wouldn't say it hurt, but it was a deep, transparent pain. It felt like a cleansing sensation, like washing away an old wound. The light penetrated deeper and deeper, and I stayed within it without resistance. It felt like something inside me was melting.

In that compassion, I forgave him. No, it was a state where the word "forgiveness" wasn't even necessary. His very existence was pitiful, understood, and accepted. That was mercy. And in that mercy, I found myself again. The light settled in my heart and slowly spread to my eyes.

After my meditation, I opened my eyes. Morning sunlight was gently streaming through the window. I followed the light and looked into the mirror. To my surprise, my eyes were clearer than usual. It was as if the clots that had accumulated until the night before had vanished, replaced by clear water.

This morning's meditation quietly but profoundly transformed me. Compassion for people, a compassion that embraces the finiteness of existence, and the purification of light—all of these processes flowed within me as a single flow. No longer did that person's words or actions sting me. Instead, I realized that both he and I were imperfect fragments of light.

Now I know that deep compassion is the light that purifies me most deeply.

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